I'm not saying you aren't destined for great things, just that the 'great' may not be what you have planned or dreamed. I know, it hurts, I've hurt too. Letting go of your 'ideal,' living in the now, and planning for an ultimately unplannable future can be very much represented in the grieving process. You are grieving your ego and the hold it has over you and your decisions.
1. Denial & Isolation - You still believe you can force the situation in your direction. You isolate yourself to better focus on your plan.
2. Anger - Frustration kicks in and your temper flares.
3. Bargaining - "If only"..., "If I just"......I could still make this happen for me.
4. Depression - You've lost focus, energy, and passion and don't know what to do next. Depression is holding on, sadness is letting go - we need to let go to move to the next stage.
5. Acceptance - Something sparks and you realize the new path isn't all bad. You start to see opportunities you hadn't seen before and think differently about your future. This leads to making decisions from a new place of sight, intuition, and without your ego.
This isn't a new story. People, everyday, find themselves in positions they never thought they would be in; illness, job loss, death of a loved one.....the list goes on. How have you adapted when your ego has been shot with reality? Are you still wandering looking for a bargaining chip? Have you been able to move past depression? If not, take time today to breath and start the process of letting go. You are enough. You are more than your ego, even if you haven't realized it yet. You will soar once the weight of your ego's expectations have fallen.
Soaring requires pressure from above and below with the right amount of thrust in between. Don't fight the pressure, find your thrust (motivation/drive) and keep pushing.
Charmaine N. Houck
Advocate of Adventure