We are all aware of Mr. Yuck and the symbols that warn us against toxic items, however, not everything in life is labeled. Some items are fun, sweet, exhilarating to begin with and we don't see the toxicity until we are deep down the rabbit hole.
One cigarette at a party in your teens turns to a pack of cigarettes the next weekend, which turns into a decade long (or more) habit. I lived that.
Toxicity is a slippery slope. Only you know know when enough is truly enough. And once there, it will take all of your might, each and everyday, to change your thoughts, patterns, and habits on the subject. My #sober2017 goal has helped me see this more clearly.
I have found in my life, beyond the toxic habits I may have had and overcome, I seem to attract toxic people. Maybe it is because I am caring and want to help, or maybe there is something toxic yet in me that calls to their demons. Honestly, I don't know.
What I do know is my life and my goals are too much for many people. I go deep into my work and often leave others on the fringes of my life, until I am ready to peek out onto the world again. (Like an art master of old.) My family is close to me and they know when I am intent on a project, yet I make time for them because they are my family. I can't say I give everyone this attention, because I don't. I pick and choose my time to manage my goals and agendas according to my needs. Selfish, quite possibly.
For some, this is my toxic behavior. And for me, I can't agree. It is, in essence, seen as being a 'work-aholic'... but for me, it is working toward my dreams, so I see it as a stepping stone, the next move to reach a greater place of being fully-me. In that thought, I don't know if I will ever change. I do what makes me happy. My family and true friends encourage my behavior, because they feed, inspire, and cheer on my goals and dreams.
If someone or something is holding you back from your dreams, creating negativity toward your goals, or in anyway giving you a fight, take a look at your next move. How can you create more space for positivity in your life? Do you need to remove your late night snack and get up a half-hour earlier each day to get in more exercise (boost endorphins)? Do you need to spend less time with a certain individual who is bringing you down or end a relationship all together? Today is a new day. Prioritize your goals, look at your obstacles, create a plan to remove at least one obstacle, and keep moving forward. Your dreams are worth it!
Charmaine N. Houck
Advocate of Adventure